Twenty-some minutes later I received a text back. He was all hooked up, ready to get the benadryl on board to hopefully prevent any reactions to the rituximab. Another 20 minutes and another text that a double dose of benadryl was in, and he was feeling snoozy already. I replied for him to have a good nap. I kept running.
It is times like these when it all comes flooding back: the weekly trips to the Cancer Center, the "getting hooked up", the comfy infusion chairs, the faces of familiar oncology nurses quietly attending to their patients, watching the poison empty out of the bag and into my body, hopefully to save my life.
As I continued to run, I thought about why I run. The first reason that popped into my head was "to lose weight", followed closely by "I really, really, really like dessert!" But a song that I recently came across addresses the physical aspects and beyond. It is by Melissa Etheridge, herself a breast cancer survivor, and the chorus goes: I run for HOPE, I run to FEEL, I run for the TRUTH, for all that is REAL. I run for your mother, your sister, (your daughter), your wife, I run for you and me my friend, I run for LIFE. Lately my thoughts have been focused around the "I run to FEEL", but it all comes down to "I run for LIFE."
I finished my run. It ended up being a hard run, just as I had anticipated, but for totally different reasons. When I got home I checked my brother's blog. He had posted the previous evening that he would be going in for the infusion. I thought I was subscribed to get notified, but I did not. Hours later I got another text that he was all done. For this week anyway. He will have 3 more Friday infusions this round.
Five years ago, on April 10, 2007, I started my chemo treatments. I have been going to write about it, but life keeps happening (thankfully!) and I just hadn't gotten to it. But then last Friday when I went for a run...
