Weeks gone by

The last few weeks have been busy and stressful. I had infusion #22 on Sept 18. We left Thursday to help Lindsey and Jason move to Pasadena. We stopped over in Paradise where they had a wedding reception for them. Then on down to Pasadena. It was a challenge getting moved in. My energy held up pretty well. We flew home Wed. night. Then Thursday morning our 11 1/2 yr old Rottie, Elsie got very sick and we had to put her down. That was a bit hard to take. Then the fatigue really hit me. I'm sure part of it was just let-down from the last few weeks. But my oncologist had told me that the fatigue is cumulative. And it hasn't gotten much better, so guess it just finally caught up with me.

Because we were gone, I switched my infusion days to Fridays for the last couple. I got there at 10:10. I waited. The receptionist came and apologized for the wait and said all the infusion chairs were full, and someone had had a reaction. I waited some more. The receptionist came and suggested that I get my blood drawn in my arm instead of my port so the blood work wouldn't delay us, so I did. I waited some more. It was almost noon, so I asked the receptionist if I should go get a bite to eat. She called the nurse, who said yes. After I got back I got in pretty quickly to see the oncologist. But I still had to wait for an empty chair. Glad I had my infusions on Tuesdays for the first 22! I finally left at 3:30. Long day.

I finally started reading Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book. There is so much information. It's very overwhelming. I will probably get into that a little more after tomorrow...infusion #24...my last one.

Wonderful wedding

The wedding was wonderful. Thanks to all of you who traveled so far to join us for a very special day. We are so thankful that the weather cooperated so nicely. We had a couple of nice days after the wedding, then it's been foggy or cloudy since.

I had my 21st infusion on Tuesday, so I have 3 left. I really felt the fatigue this week. So thankful I had last week off! I started reading the book about life after treatment. It was written by a oncology social worker who works mostly with breast cancer patients. She was diagnosed herself in 1993, then had a second primary breast cancer in 2005. Her husband is a medical oncologist. So she has interesting perspectives from all sides.

Down to 4

Nothing much to tell this time. Infusion this week went pretty fast. Blood work looked good. Hematocrit and hemoglobin hanging in there without a shot. To maintain the white blood cells I'm giving myself 1 shot a week. I did have a little more fatigue a couple days after the infusion. My fingernails are right down gross. I have most of them cut down to half or less, as they were detaching and stinking. I was afraid they would catch on something and rip the whole thing off. It has been amazing to me how much I used to use my fingernails. Just waiting as the new nail slowly grows in. Fortunately I haven't had any neuropathy (tingling and numbness of hands and feet) yet. It would be nice not to have all the side effects! I will be taking this week off chemo, then will have four left.

The wedding is a week from today. We are hoping for some warm weather, as we've been having fog and clouds - more like June weather than August. So it might be cooler than we were expecting. So please plan accordingly. Regardless of the weather, it should be fun. One little snag is my oven broke last week. We're hoping it'll be fixed by Wednesday. Seems like it's always something!

Sabbath Aug 25

My infusions the last two weeks have gone smoothly. In and out pretty fast. Lindsey accompanied me. I had her take a picture so you can see how I've been spending my Tuesdays for the last 5 months. The room is bright and airy with large windows overlooking the "Healing Garden". We have large comfy recliners. In the picture, though you can't really see it, I'm hooked up thru the port in my chest. The good news is I only have 5 more infusions!

Last weekend Ryan, Michael and Ashley were here. On Sabbath we went out on a small boat to go whale watching, although we knew the orcas were not in the area. We saw lots of sea birds, seals (one eating a salmon), and a minke whale. It was a calm day and it was just nice being out on the water. That evening we celebrated Ryan's 22nd birthday.

Only 2 weeks until the wedding. Yikes!

Hope

As many of you know, today is the one year anniversary of the death of my brother Ted. It is still so hard. After what happened to him, lately I haven't had a very positive attitude about my own disease. And I want very much to have a positive attitude, for my own sake and for the sake of those around me.

I was reading in The Desire of Ages this morning, the chapter "The Centurion" which includes the story of Jesus raising a widow's son (Luke 7:11-17). She ends the chapter quoting 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 which I found very comforting. "Our friends, we want you to know the truth about those who have died, so that you will not be sad, as are those who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will take back with Jesus those who have died believing in Him...So then, encourage one another with these words" (Good News Bible).

Someone I have met only twice gave me a beautiful bell with the word "hope" written on it in several languages. Webster's defines hope as "desire with expectation of fulfillment". This word means a lot to me right now, both in relation to my brother, and where I am at in my own journey.

I am thankful that I have hope.

Count down #8 and fatigue

After an uneventful weekend (except for John who was in the hospital most of the weekend delivering babies) fatigue hit me on Monday. Why, I don't know, but it did. On Tuesday Lindsey was giving her project presentation, so John went with me to my infusion. Once again, towards the end I was the only person in the room. Nice and quiet. The fatigue continued Wednesday and Thursday. Today I have a bit more energy, even vacuumed and cleaned a bit. Lindsey had her last day of school at Rosario on Thursday. That went by unbelievably fast! After many cloudy days, we finally got some sun today. If it holds, we'll spend the weekend sitting on the porch! That may be all the energy I have.

2/3's of the way thru!

Counting down infusion #9. I almost didn't get it because of my blood work. My ANC was too low because my white count was down. So back to taking a few shots this week. Hopefully it'll come back up and stay up. I also had to have another shot to get my red blood cells going. My hematocrit is down to 30 (started out at 43.5). No wonder I feel so tired. Afterwards Lindsey and I went and tasted wedding cake and got that ordered. One more thing down.

On Wednesday Lindsey and I, and Dr. Cowles went to Double Bluff and Freeland Beaches to look for varnish clams for Lindsey's project for her class. She is seeing if there are pea crabs in the clams. We had gone to Long Point a week ago, had dug up 50 clams, and there were no pea crabs. Took us awhile to find 50 clams at Double Bluff. Found them very quickly at Freeland. Dr. Cowles got some ghost shrimp that he was after. Later I measured the clams, and Lindsey cut them open and looked for the crabs. There were crabs in most of the clams from Double Bluff, but only 2 crabs in 1 clam from Freeland. They are tiny little soft crabs that live inside the clams. In case you are interested, the varnish clam is an invasive species to our area. Lindsey did her senior project on them.

Last weekend Ryan, Michael and Ashley came. We went kayaking on Sabbath evening out in the cove. Oh, Tim came too. Then on Sunday the first 3 tore down the fort (it was falling apart) and Tim worked on the waterfall. Almost finished. Slowly but surely things are coming together.

John is on call this weekend, and is in doing the 4th delivery of the day. Hopefully that will be it for the weekend.

Have a good weekend and a Happy Sabbath.